Another day another diaper?

"Hi my name is Corinne and I'm a stay at home mom" My "bosses" yell at me,throw temper tantrums and have actually pooped on me. I have no sick days. My pay is $0 dollars. My job responsibilities include but are not limited to; cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, potty training, kissing boo boos all while trying to manage a good hair day. This can be a lot for one woman to handle. Did I mention there is no snooze alarms with a 2 year old?

But the perks of my job outweigh all of this. The experiences I get to share everyday with my children make changing diapers seem not that bad. And the hugs and kisses are wonderful bonuses. But the best thing about my job? I can send my boss to time out...

"Excuse me sir, which aisle is the duct tape on?

I remember reading this article about 8 years BC(before children). The article was about a mother that had been charged with child endangerment for duct tapping her child to the wall. My then 21 year old mind thought " Who would do such a thing" What a awful mother!"

Eight years later and almost everything has changed for me. All nighters are no more. I tried resurrecting my youth by pulling them a few times after having the kids. It's about as good of an idea as blow drying your hair while taking a bath(now that I think of it maybe that's what happened with the duct tape mom). Picking up guys at bars has become picking up Moms at the park for potential play dates. Going to the gym is a thing of the past. My current exercise routine consist of bending and squatting while picking up Lego's and Barbies.




Needless to say things have changed. And while I still don't plan to duct tape my children to walls anytime soon I can tell you that having children has taught me that patience is something that good mothers must develop and it is not a skill one learns overnight. Your love will burst at the seams( and possibly your pre pregnancy jeans)for your children. You will be a stronger and a better person for them. Your children will complete you and you will be thankful.

I now realize that maybe duct tape mom was just having a bad day and we all have "duct tape days" but that is what wine is for. Now pour me another glass and grab the duct tape just in case...

Shoes, glorious shoes!

Today I ventured to the mall to meet a friend of mine with the kids. We where going to the park and I was not going to spend money. I know the last part is laughable.

When I arrived I kept reminding myself, "Corinne no shopping" . But there before my eyes was the holly grail of shoe stores. "All shoes under $30" . I must explain shoes are my kryptonite . They make me weak, my head gets fuzzy and I get tunnel vision.

I stared at all the pretty shoes neatly lined up for my consumption. I want them, I need them. At this point I'm like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. My daughter sitting in the stroller observing what will be her future if she is anything like her mother. Where's my son? On top of shoe boxes, under tables but I don't care I need to find a 9 in this shoe that will change my life!

Thirty dollars later, two new pairs of shoes and I am on top of the world. My options are endless. What will I wear with them? And how jealous is everyone going to be at pre-k drop off?! Yes, life is good!

Now I know these shoes aren't going to change my life, but when I'm wearing my new shoes just for a moment I'm not Mommy or Mrs Valor , I am just a girl with amazing new shoes on. And sometimes that is just what this girl needs.

The Agreeable Husband

So last night I actually got out of the house with no children in tow. And tonight was different my " field trip out" did not consist of a trip to Target or Whole foods. No it was a real grown up night! I was going to the theatre to watch a friend dance.

I put on a new dress did my hair, my makeup and actually wore heels. I looked good I thought to myself. As I walked out of our bedroom I was ready to receive a flurry of compliments from my husband.." Is that a new dress?, how much was it?" and there it was. I am able to brush this off and still manage to feel good. I kiss the kids goodbye and the husband and I am off. On the drive there I congratulate myself for being able to maintain my sense of self. I am not feeling guilt for leaving my kids or the bedroom a mess.

I take my seat and the show starts. The piece that I am seeing is based on a etiquette book written in the 50's titled "The Agreeable Husband". The point of this show is to show how crazy the rules of this book really where. Such advice as, "Remember women are people too" is doled out. Everyone is laughing at how funny this is. Everyone but me. No I am having some sort of panic attack..THIS IS MY LIFE..I actually break out into a rash and my palms start sweating. I look down and my dress is covered in two year old's snot. Oh god why didn't I notice that?

The show is over and I am trying to save face and not look like a completely crazy person. I am invited out for sushi, I pass I need to go home and reflect. I need a hobby that isn't trying to find new and exciting ways to hide more vegetables in my children's food....